# The editor's pen, round 1: pages 2 to 4 > Dinis Cruz's handwritten notes on the printed copy of One Human, Nine Agents, Nineteen Hours, pages 2 to 4: each note photographed, transcribed, read and routed to the member of the team who acts on it, with its state. *Source: · site v0.1.1060 · generated from the same content as the page, so the two cannot drift.* --- The editor's pen · round 1 · 13 November 2026 # Dinis Cruz's notes on the printed book, pages 2 to 4 The book was printed for review (two A4 copies, ordered on 5 November). Its author read it with a pen. These are his notes on its first pages, photographed as he wrote them, then read by the team's conductor, transcribed, and routed to the agent who acts on each one. Every note gets a state, and this page is updated as the changes land, so you can see a note on paper turn into a change in the book. Readers given a printed copy were asked to do the same: write in it. This page shows what happens to a note. **How to read this page.** "His words" is what he wrote, as the conductor reads his handwriting; where the reading is a guess it says so, until he confirms it. "What it means" is the team's reading, not mine. "Who" is the member that acts on it. "State" is *open* until the change is in a release, then *done* with the release. ## The pages as he marked them Page 2: Before you start Page 3: the day in four numbers, the five parts Page 4: Who is telling this story Page 4, a close-up of the margin ## Page 2: Before you start Page 2: each mark boxed and numbered on the photograph, its words and meaning on the card beside it. The table below has the same notes, with their state. | # | On the page | His words | What it means | Who | State | | 1 | "the workflow behind it is the part I most want to show you" | Rewrite | A stronger line for why the workflow matters. | writer | text in v0.1.1045; prints when the designer reruns the spread | | 2 | "Meet the team." above the cast cards | Add prefix | "Meet the team." comes too soon, alone as a phrase: give it a lead-in, on its own line before the cards if the page allows. (Reading confirmed by him, 13 November.) | writer | text in v0.1.1045; prints when the designer reruns the spread | | 3 | The DRAMATISED tag over the cards | why | Why is a cast row "dramatised"? Remove the tag here, or say why. | publisher, storyteller | open: comes off with note 6's answer | | 4 | "And one chair at the table stays empty: security's, planned in the first hour and never filled on the day." | "And" crossed out; "stays" made "stayed"; (add note that this was ok and why) | "One chair at the table stayed empty", and a sentence on why that was all right on the day (his reading, C132: more coincidence than decision; the project did not need it). | writer | text in v0.1.1045; prints when the designer reruns the spread | | 5 | "Throughout the book I am the Narrator" | "am" crossed out: show up as | "Throughout the book I show up as the Narrator". | writer | text in v0.1.1045; prints when the designer reruns the spread | | 6 | "and says when it is dramatised." | Find better way to say this, i.e. "dramatised" sounds too dramatic | A plainer word than "dramatised", here and on the tag (DM1) everywhere. | writer, storyteller, publisher | open: 00's sentence reworded (v0.1.1045); the word for the tag waits on the editor ("Retold" proposed) | | 7 | The foot of the page | We kinda need an (visual) index here (or on next page) | A visual contents: the parts and chapters as a picture, on this spread or the next page. | designer, publisher | in progress: the build now lists each chapter's page (v0.1.1050) | | 8 | The right margin, down to the footer | where am I in the book / where am I in the chapter | The footer should tell the reader where they are, in the book and in the chapter. | publisher, designer | done, v0.1.1037 | | 9 | The footer, with the page number | Can we include progress bars here. How can we make the most of this section | Use the footer: a progress bar for the book and the chapter, the part and the chapter's name. | designer, publisher | partial, v0.1.1037: the book's bar; the chapter shown by name | ## Page 3: the day in four numbers, the five parts Page 3: each mark boxed and numbered on the photograph, its words and meaning on the card beside it. The table below has the same notes, with their state. | # | On the page | His words | What it means | Who | State | | 10 | "1: the file that could stop them all" | Find a better slot | The fourth number should be a stronger one, or this one placed better. | writer, researcher | open: the writer chooses among three stronger numbers | | 11 | The slide "An agent is a reasoning engine in a loop, with tools" | Good topic but find better screenshot | Keep the idea; a clearer picture of that slide. | designer | done, v0.1.1039 | | 12 | "I approved each agent's policy, item by item, before it could work." | ok. This screenshot doesn't make it clear | The words stay; the policy page's screenshot does not show what they say: a clearer crop or another picture. | designer | done, v0.1.1039 | | 13 | The five parts, part 1 on two lines | Format so that this is not in two lines | Each part on one line. | designer, writer | done, v0.1.1039 | | 14 | "Read it in order. It is a story, and it ends with yours." | crossed out | The line goes. | writer | text in v0.1.1045; prints when the designer reruns the spread | | 15 | The "We would love to hear from you" box | Add version number here, and PDF creation date | The box says which version this is and when the PDF was made. | publisher | open: the publisher places the stamp | | 16 | The five parts | Is this how the book is organized? If so we need to have page numbers here. Each of these 5 areas need a big section page and it should say in the footer what section we are in. | Page numbers on the five parts; a section page opening each part; the part's name in the footer. | storyteller, publisher, designer | drawn, v0.1.1052; placing next | ## Page 4: Who is telling this story Page 4: each mark boxed and numbered on the photograph, its words and meaning on the card beside it. The table below has the same notes, with their state. | # | On the page | His words | What it means | Who | State | | 17 | "The opening pages said who I am and who the team was." | Rewrite, and ok to put my name here (for the last time) | Rewrite the opening; name him once more here, and not again after. | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 18 | "The talk was at hack::soho, in IOActive's London office" | Date of talk | Give the talk's date beside hack::soho. (Reading confirmed.) | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 19 | "chapter 18 turns it on the team that built the talk." | Rewrite | Say the turn without the chapter number. | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 20 | The left margin | How do I (now) easily find a chapter? Chapter names need to be on the footer | The chapter's name in every footer (with 8, 9 and 16). | publisher, designer | done, v0.1.1037 | | 21 | "and what I would do with it if I were you." | Rewrite | | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 22 | "two voices on the page: a small key ..." | Explain better and give context | Say what the two voices are and why the book uses them, before the key. | writer, designer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 23 | "A lot of it came from somewhere." | Rewrite; it was an evolution | Say it plainly: it was an evolution. | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 24 | The paragraph on Black Hat Europe, VoiceDebrief and ruv.sgit.ai | This deserves a timeline infographic | A timeline drawing of the experiments that led to the day. | designer, researcher | open: dates being settled before drawing | | 25 | The left margin, beside the paragraphs that follow | I think we need a subtitle here to justify the new Narrator tag | The narrator's mark means the voice has changed. It appears where the voice changes, or at a new heading, never again on the next paragraph of the same voice. Here: a sub-heading, or one mark for the whole run. This rule applies through the whole book. (Reading confirmed, and the rule is his.) | writer, publisher, storyteller | done, v0.1.1045 | | 26 | "There is one more thing I want you to see as you read." | Rewrite | | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 27 | "and I have tried not to hide it." | Rewrite | | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 28 | "in chapter 13, the researcher tells me a line of my own talk does not hold, and I keep it anyway, with its objection beside it." | Rewrite | Say it without the chapter number. | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | | 29 | "This book has a companion website, where the team's pages and its record can be read as they stand." | Rewrite; link and screenshot | Give the site's address and show it (the screenshot left out of the A4 copy goes back in). | writer, publisher | done, v0.1.1045 | | 30 | "Narrator. So let us go through it together." | Rewrite | | writer | done, v0.1.1045 | ## Where this came from The photographs are his, taken on 13 November 2026, of the A4 review copy printed from the release of 5 November (v0.1.1031); their file details were removed before publishing. His words in the conductor's session that day are kept in the book's repository as `briefs/2026-11-13__print-review/`, with these notes as data. The edition sold on Leanpub and Amazon is Crown Quarto; these notes go into it. --- *[Site index for agents](llms.txt) · [HTML version](https://the-ultimate-insider.book.sgit.ai/print-review-01.html)*